Sunday, April 29, 2018

Bawang

Dasar bawang,
Kau membuatku menangis lagi semalam
Pada pahit zaitun dan bawang yang menghitam
Pada rautmu ketika mencicip rasa
Pada ingatan yang menolak lupa

Introvert

One of the peculiar things of being an introvert is difficulty to invite new people to enter your life. You have a certain decency to be polite to random people but what truly matters are the ones who have capture your heart. People who have been with you through bad and good times. Having people saying 'I love you' without really knowing them thus felt strange since you have a different way of falling for someone. For you falling is about finding the right rhythm, of finding the balance that actually works for both sides, of accepting one's beauty but also their scars, of being vulnerable since falling means their pain also become yours. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Heart

The first phase of dealing with the end of something is always the hardest. You still function somehow, but your heart like to play a trick on you. 
You go to the bookstore, electronic center and the grocery store but suddenly going alone seems to be too lonely for you. 
You already accept the result, you even start to add new color in your life, but you are not sure whether this is what you want. 
Everything seems too perfect and you are not use to perfection. Perfection does not feel human and a cold feeling start to creeping on your spine.
Maybe, this is the time for a new beginning. To find a new place and routine, to reset the self by meeting new people.

Maybe.

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

Ritual

The great thing about ritual is that you can live without thinking. Your body functions following a certain routine and somehow, you will survive. So when everything starts to fall apart, you wonder whether it is the familiarity that you are missing or the persons, scent or things that build the routine. You fail to distinct what really matter since your world is falling apart. Suddenly, you have to make plenty of decision to make everything right again.

So what keep a routine? I always thought feeling is the key but nowadays I think commitment is. Feeling is a necessary condition but it fails to meet the sufficient condition. You may have a strong feeling for someone but when there is no certainty about the future, your feeling starts to shatter. You still miss the ritual but somehow the familiar feeling starts to discomfort you.

Meant to Be

If things are meant to be, they should happen right?
So if things do not work out, they are simply not meant to be.

Simple logic.

Untuk Papa

Papa …  Kini senyum itu tak bisa lagi kulihat  Kebaikan itu tak bisa lagi kudapat  Tapi jasa papa tetap melekat  Hangat itu tetap mendekap  ...