Malam

Malam yang tak pekat

Gelap yang tak  lelap

Resah yang tak kunjung enyah

Entah

Aku tak tahu apakah irisan pernah ada

atau hanya sebuah imaji fana

Hingga akhirnya tiada

Ditelan sang kala

Dia

... mengetahui ada seseorang yang menemanimu bekerja
di ruang berbeda
saat mentari tak lagi ada
rasanya menyenangkan
aku suka dengan caranya yang biasa
masuk tanpa paksa

Oma

It has been two years or less since I slept in your room. I tried to avoid entering it since I wanted to savor the feeling of you being around. Sleeping here after you were gone awakening the sadness that I want to avoid. I miss you ... and although I know that insyaAllah you are in a better place, I feel a bit empty, especially since we used to sleep together.

Why

... don't we try to work it out?

Lalu

Bertemu dengan lalu itu ... menarik
Ada beragam kenangan terpantik
Kisah saat lalu itu masih kini
Dengan hiruk pikuknya sendiri
Tahun pertama kuliah
Berisisan dengan ragam pemikiran
Kepingan-kepingan yang menyusun kini

Match making

A relative offered me to match me with his other relative and I freaked out. Although I only experienced it once, at least that one felt almost normal. It did not suffocate me like I felt when I read my relative's message about bringing the man into my house. Minor detail: the feeling was not mutual. So there it is, my love to French tragic ending turned into reality.

“We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love” -- Dr. Seuss

Jomblo

Pelajaran hari ini: film Korea tidak baik bagi orang jomblo

Agency

I am wondering whether agency, as the ability to change a state of affairs, is a good thing. Yesterday while looking for a novel, I found my mathematics final project. I amazed on how the book was mostly consist of formulas, with acknowledgement longer than the introduction and conclusion (since basically I only need to say QED). I even managed to write a book about numbers, have one citation for the math book and write a popular writing about mathematics in a local newspaper. So why did I change my discipline? Why path dependency did not work for me?

Kepingan

Tak sengaja aku membuka kembali lembaran lama. Buku tugas akhir yang berada di rak buku orang tuaku. Dan tanpa bisa kucegah kenangan mengalir kembali. Terutama ketika aku membaca lembaran terimakasih. Aku tak berani membuka buku tesis, takut akan menemukan namamu juga di sana. Ada kenangan yang lebih senang kututup rapat. Dan lucunya ketika aku memposting deretan formula di laman facebook, aku jadi teringat kata-kata pembimbingku untuk selalu mengikuti kata hati. Mendadak hari ini ia muncul di departemen untuk berbincang dengan kolegaku dan mendadak aku diminta mengerjakan persamaan diferensial.

Style

Move on is about forgetting things you did not experience with somebody else. The more memories you crafted the more difficult you forget. It is about laughing something that only both of you knows.

Distance

Talking in codes again
It sucks to be away ...