The Others

Today I went to the expat center to take my new resident permit. The first person asked me to show my birth certificate and when I told her that I had been here before, she asked me to meet her colleague since I was already in the system. So there I was waiting for fifteen minutes because I was not in the check list. I am new, but I also old. I am familiar with many things, but the documents do not say so. Thus, I have to wait. My experience reminded me to one of the stories in The Sociology of Monsters on being allergic to onion. To get a hamburger without an onion means to wait longer simply because you create a mess out of a system. I think I am quite okay of waiting, I am more afraid of being alienated from my self.

I don't know why I shifted my subject from math to social science. Or in general sometime I wonder where my home is. Sometimes being in Indonesia is just too much; too many questions and too many people ordering me what to do. Being back in the Netherlands give me fresh air. It feels almost home. 

Home

The thing is ... I don't know where my home is anymore. Whenever I have to return to the Netherlands, I feel a bit anxious. I miss being with my family or hang out with my colleagues in ITB. On the other hand, I also miss my life in Eindhoven where I can be who ever I want to be without worry what people may think of me. I miss my friends, library, sport centrum and the office. Things that I cannot get in Indonesia. But I also miss being involve in something. So I don't know ...

I think I am a bit lost ... I am not sure where I want to be or on the opposite, I know that I want to have a career in Indonesia since it enables me to be entangled with a community but being here and there is difficult.

Medical Anthropology

I am still thinking to write a proposal about medical anthropology ... I am interested in elaborating the idea of comparison ... taking a bit idea from Strathern, Tyler and probably Deleuze. Like many other things that I did in my life, probably, my interest in medical anthropology was for a wrong reason. But what is the right reason in science? That you're good at it, that it is linear with your background, because you know that you can do something good with it or because you met a person that can inspire you? Until now, I am still wandering the place where I can fit in. I've been wandering around a lot. Changing direction whenever I want simply because I can ...

Probably, it is time to settle down. To invest rather than to runaway ....

After Darkness, There is Light

Yeah right, after being stupid like adding a person to my linkedin account (which I never done before), today I made it up by working the whole day until I forgot to take my lunch. Well, probably this is another stupidity, I am going nowhere by being ill. But at least I got a passion boost, although it is most probably for the wrong reason. For now, I don't really care about the reason, as long it creates the emergent effect that I am looking for.

c'est la vie

Stupid is ...

... downloading his picture and saving it in the computer

Anthropologist

Good observer, does not talk too much and quite aware about difference. And although I know that these qualities are part of being a good anthropologist I still found his performances as charming. I did not involve in any conversation with him and I only knew his name on the second day I met him. So why I am still thinking about him? 

Oh well, I will just blame my paper ... Editing paper produce unexpected effect

Melting

"some people are worth melting for ..." --Frozen

I don't know what happened to me, but somehow I cannot get him out of my system

Not a Gypsy

The hardest thing from moving from place to another is to ask your heart to move. Once you're settle, you know that you have to continue your journey ...

Garamond

I change the font to Garamond
Probably because I am missing you

Peneliti Manja

Entah kenapa aku selalu membutuhkan orang untuk membuat tanganku bergerak

Tabir

Allah (Pemberi) cahaya (kepada) langit dan bumi. Perumpamaan cahaya-Nya adalah seperti sebuah lubang yang tak tembus, yang di dalamnya ada pelita besar. Pelita itu di dalam kaca (dan) kaca itu seakan-akan bintang (yang bercahaya) seperti mutiara, yang dinyalakan dengan minyak dari pohon yang banyak berkahnya, (yaitu) pohon zaitun yang tumbuh tidak di sebelah timur (sesuatu) dan tidak pula di sebelah barat(nya), yang minyaknya (saja) hampir-hampir menerangi, walaupun tidak disentuh api. Cahaya di atas cahaya (berlapis-lapis), Allah membimbing kepada cahaya-Nya siapa yang Dia kehendaki, dan Allah memperbuat per­umpamaan-perumpamaan bagi manusia, dan Allah Mahamengetahui segala sesuatu.(QS. 24:35)