The saddest thing of being away is that I could not be there when I wanted it the most. No more orchid on (grand)mother's day. No more smile ... God, how I hate my PhD right now.
I know this is for the best. I know I could do nothing. But I hate for not seeing her for the last time.
And I know playing sad music does not really help. But I just want to cry. alone. without anyone asking me how I feel.
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