Relation

"Jadi apa yang kamu cari?"
"Somebody who can complete me .."
"Come on, be serious."
"I am serious. I want someone who can protect me since I always lacking on that department, who are true to his words and appreciate little things like water falling from the sky, cats on the street, things that allow me to contemplate how small we are in this universe."
"You read too much books."
"Is reading a crime?"
"No it's not but you make the searching difficult."
"How about the last time?"
"Well, it's over. It did not work out for whatever reason and I already accept it."
"And now you are open for a new relation?"
"Yes, hypothetically. The thing is I don't know where to start and what to do."
"What about the guys?"
"That is another thing. I am bad with strangers. I always feel that I am being expected to do something that I am not able to. And I am quite good with reading emotion ... After that I use to end up with hating myself."
"Going for the traditional route?"
"Yes, I am thinking to do it again. Probably, I was not ikhlas the last time since I was expecting someone else. Maybe, I sabotage the process by being insincere."
"I hope it will work this time."
"Thanks. Whatever the result is I want to do the right thing and I believe the right process will lead to the best result whatever it is."