To All the Boys I Loved Before

Living in the period of the coronavirus where everything is uncertain makes me more reflective. One of the things that I am been wondering lately is about my suck love life. Why my past relationship went from sweet to sour in a blink of an eye? What went wrong? Or why it did not work in the first place?

I have been chatting about my past love life with someone. It's nice to hear that you are not the only one who made the same mistake, runaway because you were just too damn afraid of what might happen if you decide to move forward. After years, you started to accept what happened happened. Not because you believe it happened for a good reason but because that part of reality became blurrier than before. The feeling became less strong and you were able to accept a new person in your life.

Unfortunately, welcoming people in your new life can be a bit complicated. Adjusting your life into another can be difficult especially when you include family into the equation. You hated the disagreement from both sides and at the end, the relationship started to drain all your energy. I didn't blame any party though, I have been in a position where my parents disagree with my choice and position where his parents disagree with me. So I am done with no family support relationship.

Strangely, on the second date with a new man after those breakups, my parents met the parent of the man. That was a super awkward meeting although a nice insurance that I didn't have to deal with family issue. Unfortunately, the relationship did not work out either, probably because of the distance or simply because of me.

There were people here and there, dates, chats, flirts. But at the end, you kind of getting tired with introducing yourself to new people and answering dozens how are you text.

I am also wondering whether me being here and there makes me the strange one?