Third Culture

"Are you even one?"

"I like to consider me as one. It always feels that I don't really fit in one place. When I first started in elementary school, my Bahasa was still bad, my skin was fair and my mom used to pack food instead of gave me money for snack while other kids always have  something on their hand. Until now, my daily meal always consist of bread. I can eat without rice for weeks but feel miserable if I cannot bread for several days."

"So you feel more home when you were in Europe?"

"That's another thing. I did not drink, I did my prayers, I wore veil, I fasted. Those things created a thick barrier on the type of activities that I could be involved in and not. I still went to the bar though and ordered apple juice since the color is the closest to wine (or beer but without the foam)."

"So what are looking for in a relationship?"

"A person who can read my mind."

"Keep on dreaming, honey."

"The dreamy answer will be a person who share the same frequency as I. But if you want me to elaborate it, I think a person who can read between the lines since I am not the most talkative person in the world. I found this quality most in people who are older or introvert since they tend to be more sensitive."

"What is your next destination?"

"I don't know. After Europe, I was planning to settle down in Indonesia, but I couldn't find a job that suits me and here I am, still questioning my life as I did a decade ago. Life seems moving no where for me."

"It adds the complexity for people who want to approach you. Do you have specific preference?"

"Apart from the things I mentioned earlier, I want the person to share the same responsibility as me in house chores. This makes me more West than East. It's difficult since I still adopt things that are considered as conservative but I want a type of relationship that is more contemporary."

"Do you consider yourself as beautiful?"

"Hey alter ego, did someone hijack you?"

"Noo, this is a logical question. Somehow, you seem cool with the whole situation and I know one of the reasons is because you never lack of admirers."

"I don't think I fall into the beautiful category, I may consider myself as cute though and that has a different niche market. I always have a chubby cheek so I think people have tendency as seeing me as a little girl and attract elderly people or people from the service industry. There was a time when I fixed my eyeglasses and my mom asked me how much I paid to repair it. When I told her, I got it for free, my mom responded, 'you gave him your smile, did not you?' By time, I also know the type of respondents who are willing to do favor for me based on our interaction during interviews. Somehow, I also got a lot of request for random sampling since I rarely say no if someone ask me a favor. I have no problem with that, I only feel bad for people who ask me for direction since I am bad at direction, literally and figuratively." 

"Are you an extrovert?"

"No, although I may fall into an ambivert category. My comfort zone is always my personal room where I don't have to bother on other people. Probably, that's also why it's difficult to let new people in. On the other hand, since my work forces me to deal with new people all the time, I start to learn how to stretch my boundary. But I am still bad at large setting meeting. I also prefer to text first, a first step of interaction without really need to be social."

"How do you even survive until this point?"

"I believe in the art of resonance. The Creator protects you by surrounding you with people who complete you. It's not that you are dotting on them but in a weird way, you complement each other."