After contacting and got a cold reply, I was wondering whether the last months were only a dream. Was it just me who has the strong feeling towards him? I know what the ending will be but was it hard only on my end? Oh, my ego hurts. Well, I know for best, it's better to distract my mind to things rather than another human being. I don't want to hurt anyone and I have the tendency to place others' happiness first, that's why my collaboration works are more successful than my own project. I thought meeting someone who put others' first would made me safe, but apparently I was not the one he chose to protect.
During my dates, I met people who never interact with women until college. Their marriages were mediated through people and pictures. Love comes after marriage. In that context, I can imagine that you are able to fall in love with the other person that's how you are being 'programmed' since childhood. Your first touch with a woman will start once you are legally married and you won't compare her with anyone else as well since she is exclusively for you and you for her.
Growing up in a mixed society, I could not really imagine to fall in love in that way. Would the person treat me nicely? Would he understand my quirkiness? Can he make me laugh?
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