Love is an addiction. Once you stop the connection with the person you love, your body will create a chemical reaction asking you to supply the substance. During my younger days, I was attracted with how opium influences the body. Strangely, some of my mentors tried it, so yeah, my attraction was totally justified based on my network. The interesting part of opium is the philosophy behind it that relates to Morpheus, the god of dream and sleep. I think love also works in that illusion, you dream about something ideal and you don't want to detach from that idealization, whereas in real life, love always has flaws. But as a substance, it gives you high where reality become blurry.
So I have been clean from the substance for more than 37 hours. A record that I want to add up until I manage to free from the longing to return to it. Yesterday, I was still a mess, my appetite was not returning, I left my room like a mess, could not work and at night, I was super tempted to break my 24 hours clean condition without him, but my dad texted me, so I was safe from repeating the cycle.
The meaning of his name is Knight, an irony since he was the one who shattered me into pieces. I thought Knight should be able to protect the one he loves. Well, this is another wake up call that all of my imagination is an illusion, an imagination from the world of the Morpheus.
Hopefully, I will get better soon. Cleaning my body from the substance completely.
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